I was impressed like everyone when man began to fly
out of earthly regions to planets in the sky
with total media coverage we watched the heroes land
as ceremoniously they disturbed the cosmic sand

I awe with admiration we listened to the talk
such pride felt they, such joy to be upon the moon to walk
my romantic vision shattered when it was explained to me
spacemen wear old diapers in which they shit and pee

Chorus
oh the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to there
relieve you and believe me without a worry or care
if shitting is your problem when you're out there in the stars
the intergalactic laxative will get you from here to mars

they don't partake like you and I of beefy burger mush
their food is specially prepared to dissolve into slush
absorbed my multi-fibres in the super diaper suit
otherwise the slush would trickle down inside the boot

you may well ask now what becomes of liquid they consume
a pipe is led from penis head to a unit in the room
the water is recirculated, filtered for re-use
in case of anti-gravity, pee gets on the loose

wherever man has conquered on the quest for frontiers new
I'm glad he's always had to do the no. one and two
it makes it all so ordinary just like you and me
to know the greatest heroes they had to shit and pee!